Sleep issues can surge for women in their late 30s. Experts share common reasons, like hormones and lifestyle factors, and share advice for better rest.
If you’re a woman who used to doze off easily on, say, a friend’s half-functional air mattress or a hookup’s couch, you might be struck by how elusive sleep can be if you’re now in your late 30s. What once was the thing you simply needed to carve out time for becomes something you can only access with a curated bedtime ritual, a supplement, and a prayer—if that.
The truth is, women of all ages tend to struggle more with sleep than men because of “fluctuations in the sex hormones estrogen and progesterone, starting as early as puberty and until the end of time,” Saema Tahir, MD, a New York City–based sleep medicine, critical care, and pulmonary disease specialist, tells SELF. Research suggests insomnia is up to twice as common in women versus men, and women are twice as likely as men to say they don’t wake up feeling rested. But there’s also a meaningful spike in sleep difficulties for women in their late 30s and early 40s, Dr. Tahir notes, as various factors driving hormone shifts can collide with lifestyle changes that put sleep further out of reach. Below, experts break down common reasons why you might face new sleep hurdles in your late 30s and how to get back on track. 1. You’re postpartum or have young kids at home. Pregnancy is well-known to be rough on sleep—the constant need to pee, the baby walloping your insides—but things can get worse postpartum, and not just because of the baby’s needs. Yes, you might be breaking up your sleep to breastfeed or pump in those first few weeks to months, but you’re also undergoing a massive hormonal change. Estrogen and progesterone drop off abruptly post-childbirth, Dr. Tahir says. “Estrogen helps stabilize our sleep, improving deep sleep and REM sleep, and plays a role in regulating our circadian rhythm,” she explains. “And progesterone works on GABA, which is a neurotransmitter that makes us sedated.” So the major dip in both can leave you tossing and turning, she explains. It can take several months for the impact of this change to wear off, and if you choose to breastfeed, sleep can remain wonky throughout this time , as lactation keeps estrogen and progesterone levels low. And then there’s the newfound stressors of parenthood. Moms often become hypervigilant of any indicators in their environment that their child needs help, which can make it tough to fall or stay asleep, Shelby Harris, PsyD, DBSM, a clinical psychologist and author of The Women’s Guide To Overcoming Insomnia, tells SELF. It’s no wonder more than half of mothers aged 25 to 44 sleep fewer than seven hours a night. 2. You’re knocking on the door of perimenopause. The transitional zone preceding menopause can start as early as your mid-30s. And during that period, which can span four to 10 years, estrogen and progesterone levels can fluctuate wildly on their way down, triggering sleep issues. In fact, changing hormones can interfere with sleep well before levels drop low enough to prompt hot flashes , with insomnia symptoms affecting up to 42% of perimenopausal women. Part of that might also be tied to the mental health impact of perimenopause, which can deliver mood swings and anxiety—a recipe for a racing brain at night, Dr. Harris says. This life stage also ups your risk for two sleep disorders: sleep apnea and restless leg syndrome. The former is linked to the decrease in progesterone, which leaves your upper airway more prone to collapse, Dr. Tahir explains. The latter may be tied to iron deficiency from irregular periods, plus the drop in estrogen, which messes with the dopamine activity that regulates muscle control. 3. You recently switched your birth control. It’s common to adjust your birth control in your late 30s, whether because of changing lifestyle or fertility plans, or after pregnancy. And just like natural hormone swings can throw your sleep off-kilter, so too can tweaking your hormonal BC, for instance shifting to a different combination pill or to or from a hormonal intrauterine device . Studies have mixed results, with some tying hormonal BC to better sleep, and others showing the opposite. “The effect on sleep can vary depending on which hormone predominates,” Dr. Tahir says. If, in switching BC, you wind up taking in more progestin , you could feel groggier than usual and sleep more. But progestin can also raise your body temperature, which may interfere with the normal temperature dip that helps you stay asleep, causing you to wake up more frequently throughout the night. Estrogen, by contrast, generally helps regulate body temperature and sleep cycles—but being exposed to a different amount of its synthetic form, estradiol, may still cause sleep irregularities. 4. You’ve hit peak stress. Your late 30s could also be a time when you’re newly squeezed between caring for young kids and aging parents—what we call the “sandwich generation,” Dr. Harris says. Or maybe you’re climbing the career ladder while navigating marriage and changing friend dynamics. In any case, adulting can hit a fever pitch right around this life stage, with growing responsibilities leaving little time for rest and relaxation, Dr. Tahir says. Even if you can carve out enough hours for a full night’s sleep, you might struggle to get it. Constant stress keeps you in fight-or-flight mode, with hormones like adrenaline and cortisol remaining at high levels into the evening, Dr. Tahir explains, when they usually dip. That means you stay riled up when you should be simmering down. What to do about disrupted sleep in your late 30s There are a few interventions you can DIY. For instance, if you’re postpartum, Dr. Harris suggests trying to protect at least a four-hour uninterrupted sleep window even a few nights a week, if it’s possible to enlist support for baby duty. She also points to the importance of asking for help, if juggling stressors is the issue, and re-upping basic sleep hygiene: Keep your bedroom cool , avoid afternoon naps and caffeine, steer clear of evening alcohol, and maintain consistent sleep and wake-up times. But also keep in mind that “none of these adjustments will fix a sleep disorder,” Dr. Tahir says. So if you’re doing the above and still sleeping poorly or feeling unrested, check in with your doctor—they may suggest pivoting from a new birth control, for instance, or starting hormone therapy to even out the fluctuations of perimenopause. And if neither applies, they can refer you to a sleep specialist for a deeper evaluation. Perhaps you ultimately need a breathing device to alleviate sleep apnea, medication for restless leg syndrome, or specialized therapy to break free from chronic insomnia. Dr. Tahir finds women often spend decades dealing with miserable sleep before reaching out. But sleep issues don’t just make you cranky and prone to catching colds; they also raise your risk for cardiovascular trouble and speed up brain aging, increasing the likelihood that you develop dementia later on. Sleeping soundly “can save your life, not just in terms of health metrics,” Dr. Tahir says. “It can make you feel like yourself again.” Related: 5 Things to Try If Sharing a Bed Is Completely Ruining Your Sleep This Common Natural Sleep Aid Could Be Making Things Worse 6 Foods to Eat for Better Sleep Get more of SELF’s great service journalism delivered right to your inbox.
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