Miss Manners: ‘There doesn’t seem to be anything that someone, somewhere, doesn’t find offensive’

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Miss Manners: ‘There doesn’t seem to be anything that someone, somewhere, doesn’t find offensive’
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'It may seem trivial, but omitting words from the vocabulary and substituting others does take some work until it becomes habitual.'

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I believe that the rules of etiquette indicate that one should not use language that others find offensive, even if it doesn’t seem so to oneself. I have just learned, for example, that “master bedroom” is offensive to some, so it should not be used.

GENTLE READER: Now that taking offense has become a national pastime, Miss Manners needs to distinguish between two varieties of the activity. The second is avoiding offending an actual person, as opposed to a theoretical one, and for this, the rules have not changed: Avoid commonly recognized terms of offense; know your audience; and if you see that you have, unintentionally, given offense, apologize. Anyone who does not accept a sincerely offered apology for the use of a newly minted and not-yet-generally-accepted offensive term is being rude.DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiancée and I are planning our wedding.

My fiancée thinks I am being unreasonable, and we are at an impasse. Should I put my foot down, or should I make an exception, even though I know it is wrong?

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