I laughed it off at the time, but it still bothers me. Was I really in the wrong?
Sometimes it restrains us from doing things; other times it requires us not to notice. In this case, Miss Manners allows you to slime away so long as you refrain from sharing glasses.I have noticed that many establishments, from coffee shops to boutiques, are using systems that automatically ask for a tip when you are checking out — and “helpfully” give you choices of 15%, 20% and up.
To me, tipping has always made sense for instances such as haircuts and restaurants, where the person has spent a considerable amount of time with me. For someone who took a doughnut out of a case and put it in a bag to receive a tip seems excessive. And I say this as someone who has worked in retail — at a fast-food place, a home decor shop, and most recently an art gallery — never expecting a tip for basically ringing up a sale.
I know I can hit “no tip,” but then I worry the person will think I’m obnoxious and I’ll feel embarrassed. What is your opinion of these systems?That even though Miss Manners may occasionally be intimidated by all the new electronic devices in her life, she does not accept etiquette advice from them.When being welcomed into the home of friends , I am often asked the question, “Would you like something to drink?” They provide no information about what they have available.
It seems rude to ask what they have, and I’m generally not interested in a glass of water. I’ve tried, “I’ll have whatever you’re having,” but my host may indicate that they are not having anything just now.Ask for something common — tea, coffee — or about a category of beverages: “Do you have any diet soda?” You may not get exactly what you want, but it is almost certain to be preferable to the Russian roulette of “I’ll have what she’s having.
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