I say that if this man is to be excluded, his wife cannot attend.
The seriousness of the accusation against the grandmother’s spouse leads Miss Manners to believe that you have severed all relations with him. If that is so, it supersedes the requirement that he be invited. Grandma can come, but the offender will have to stay home.
The problem is that there doesn’t seem to be anything that someone, somewhere, doesn’t find offensive.
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