Am I asking for too much by wanting them to entertain us when we visit them, as I have done for the past 20 years when they visit us?
It's bad manners to expect your guests to pick up their portion of meals, says Annie Lane in today's column. Both my adult daughter and her husband are employed. Since they do not cook, when my husband and I visit them, which is approximately four times a year, they send out for food and ask us to pay our share of the bill, or, on occasion, she will use my credit card to pay for the whole bill.
When I came into their lives, her son was 6 and her daughter had just turned 7. I almost immediately became a father figure to her children, as their father stopped all communication with them after the divorce. As she got older, our relationship became strained. She developed new personality traits, and I struggled with addiction and didn’t make her feel good about herself most of the time. I thought I was doing the right thing back then.
The proof is in the pudding. Instead of telling her again how sorry you are for your mistakes, let your apology shine through your actions. Plant your feet and hang tough. Show her that you’ve changed and you aren’t going anywhere this time.
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