In today's Dear Annie column, Annie Lane hears from a mom who is hurt that her daughter would rather pay to stay somewhere else than spend the night at her mother's house.
Annie's solution to today's problem is for the reader to try and make her home more comfortable for her daughter, but to also try and understand where her daughter is coming from and stop judging her.
I’d love your perspective on an issue I’m having with my adult daughter, who lives in another state. She visits every Christmas for several days but refuses to stay overnight at my home. She claims my guest room is too cluttered and noisy, or she offers other excuses for not staying. Instead, she rents an Airbnb for part of her stay and spends the other nights at her dad’s house or with friends.
I’ve expressed to her how hurtful this is to me; it feels insulting and makes me feel unimportant. Her response is that she doesn’t intend to hurt me, but she feels she should be able to stay wherever she prefers. What truly stings is that she doesn’t seem to care about how her choice affects me, focusing only on her own comfort. She seems more self-centered than ever, and I’m struggling with this.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. VisitIf you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation.
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