She refuses to have conversations about this with my siblings and me, and accuses us of being “morbid.”
Do you have any suggestions for how we can help Mom feel more comfortable having these conversations and documenting her wishes?Offer your mother resources that normalize discussions about end-of-life wishes and care. Helping to ensure that she receives the care she wants is not morbid. It is a gift to her and your family. If something happens to a loved one and they can no longer communicate for themselves, you should not have to guess what their wishes would be in a crisis.
Start with the perfect gift for Mom: “Finish Strong: Putting Your Priorities First at Life’s End,” a book written by Barbara Coombs Lee, the president emerita and senior adviser of Compassion & Choices. Compassion & Choices is an organization I have mentioned before in my column and to which I contribute.
It offers a multitude of resources, including “My End-of-Life Decisions: An Advance Planning Guide and Toolkit.” It would be a helpful starting point for a discussion with your mother. For more information, visitI am a divorced dad with two adult daughters and a 14-year-old daughter. My older daughters are learning to be responsible for themselves, and I’m proud of them. The question I need help with involves my youngest. She doesn’t want to go to school. She stays awake on the phone.
I’m not perfect. I have said things I regret, but I have always loved my daughters. I have explained that my teen is pushing me away, but my ex doesn’t care. My heart hurts. Must I just let go?Your ex-wife appears to be irresponsible in the care of your daughter. She is also attempting to alienate the girl from you. It is very important to find out why your 14-year-old doesn’t want to go to school.
Once you know what you are dealing with, you may be able to do more than lecture her about her truancy, and that is what I am recommending. She may need counseling.
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