Their absence of enthusiasm left the moment hanging.
Asking Eric: I’m worried about the people I’d have to schmooze with at the weddingAsking Eric: This teen is a star to everyone except her own mother But I noticed when offering an invitation to come stay in our holiday home, approximately two hours’ drive away, the replies were quite muted or passive but polite.
The absence of enthusiasm in their response left the moment “hanging.” A different friend feels I should be more specific in setting out the dates I’m offering, to clarify my intentions to them. This friend feels it’s not up to the invited to seek clarification on dates, et cetera, and thus explains their reluctance. : This is merely conjecture, but it’s possible that your friends would prefer to keep the friendship trek-only. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Perhaps they’re most comfortable trekking or don’t like staying at other people’s homes. There’s plenty of explanations. Maybe they don’t feel up to the drive to a second location. From the way you describe the situation, it seems your intentions are rather clear. So, I’m not sure that being more specific about dates or weekends is going to get you farther without first finding out if there’s another reason for their reluctance. To that end, you may want to have a no-pressure conversation about it. “I noticed you don’t seem as interested in hanging out at my holiday home as you do in trekking. Am I misreading that?”For many years my husband and I have been very generous and kind with my sister’s family. We also planned many trips for them. Her husband is known as being very stingy toward us. Now they’ve actually told us they will not do nice things for us anymore. We are sick of the way they are rude, act so immature and are frankly mean. We have decided to finally just walk away from them. What are your thoughts?That sounds like the right thing to do. From your telling, you’ve extended graciousness and had very little of it, if any, returned. Now, your sister’s family is actively telling you they don’t want to extend any graciousness to you. This is basically them telling you that they don’t want to be in a relationship with you, or at least not in the way that you want. To paraphrase a famous quote by Dr. Maya Angelou, when people tell you that they don’t want to be in a relationship with you, you should believe them. It will save you a lot of stress and pain to put up an internal boundary, reminding yourself that you’ve done what you can to create healthy connection and that these new behaviors make that impossible. It’s also helpful to remind yourself that the generosity you extended wasn’t wasted, even if it didn’t produce the result you wanted. You’ve been living according to your values and that’s important. They don’t share your values – or they don’t see your values in the same way. That’s a shame. But you don’t have to continue putting yourself in a position where your generosity is rejected.about the widow whose late husband’s children from his first marriage left her out of his funeral arrangements, I realized something. The lady writing to you is almost 100 years old. She stated they got married nine years ago when they were in their 80s. Whew, imagine being almost 100 and people are still playing with your emotions. Did anyone else notice the age?You have a way with words; I love it. No one’s emotions should be played with, but certainly not someone who’s had almost 100 years on Earth. Play time is over. Peace and blessings to you, too.Miss Manners: We heard that the bride’s father was ranting about usMy suggestion is: Take pictures. Memory for pictures is cheap and takes up little space. I take pictures of many things I’ve collected before I let them leave my house. I smile as I look at the pictures during the long winter days.: Thank you for this suggestion. It’s a great reminder that even if we part with physical objects, we can hold on to the memories they evoke in multiple ways. This may also make letting go of the objects easier. Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.Dear Abby: If I can't see the baby, then I want my money backFremont High School students struggle to cope after ex-trainer’s arrest for murder‘Five Nights at Epstein’s’ game goes viral at US school campusesMiss Manners: Every year I get hit with the big, bad cake
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Eric Adams hires Trump-affiliated defense counsel in sexual assault suitAfter the New York City Law Department asked to terminate its representation of former Mayor Eric Adams last week, Adams brought on a longtime Donald
Read more »
Coffee shop owner goes missing from Oakland, police asking for helpThe Oakland Police Department have released a photo of a woman who has gone missing from the Cleveland Heights neighborhood.
Read more »
Asking Eric: A family member died on my birthday. Now every birthday is a grim reminder.Advice from R. Eric Thomas.
Read more »
Asking Eric: I’m not a flower scorekeeper, but what my friends did seemed cruelSo the squeaky wheel was sick? What about me?
Read more »
Asking Eric: Family member’s death anniversary mars birthdayJoe Nguyen is a digital strategist for The Denver Post. Previously he was the online prep sports editor. Prior to that, he covered Adams County and Aurora in the YourHub section. He has previously covered Colorado’s Asian-American communities as editor for Asian Avenue magazine and AsiaXpress.com.
Read more »
Asking Eric: My hiking friends don’t seem to want to hang out indoorsAdvice from R. Eric Thomas.
Read more »