A heartwarming yet disheartened account of a man who, due to lung damage, relies on an oxygen cylinder and Mini Puppy. His life is now a series of ups and downs, with a Jaguar that doesn't start and a son's mother in a broken arm cast awaiting medical treatment.
There was a time when black, beribboned Net-A-Porter boxes would arrive, leaves of tissue encasing a Dries Van Noten jacket or a Bottega Veneta strapless dress.
And bright yellow boxes from Selfridges containing Révive beauty products and five-wick Diptyque candles. Today, an oxygen cylinder has been delivered. For Him, as he only has 20 per cent of his lungs left. He used to work for Dunhill and as it was so very long ago, they included 400 cigarettes a month in his pay packet.
He keeps leaning on my prep table and at the end of each evening he says, ‘I’m dreading the stairs. ’ He sucks on the oxygen like a calf on a teat. It’s like living at base camp on Everest.
Or in a care home. But he is now more used to Mini Puppy’s routine. He can take her to the churchyard for a potter and make sure she drinks water. It’s weird having someone in my house when I’m so accustomed to living alone: there is the constant tinkle-tinkle from multiple episodes of Countdown.
He has lit the fire by the time I return from the horses, though he can only bring in logs from the outbuilding two at a time. He drives to the supermarket to get groceries, as he doesn’t agree with shopping online , much as he mistrusts the dishwasher.
He owns a flannel. He has never seen Slow Horses: ‘How can you never have seen Slow Horses?! ’ As my washing machine was destroyed when my cellar flooded, and Nic can’t load hers due to her dislocated right shoulder, her mum has kindly been laundering Mini’s soiled bedding each day. But then, last week, another disaster struck.
Nic’s mum fell and broke her left arm. So, within two weeks, they are both out of action: if you stand them side by side, you actually get one functioning person. Her mum needed to be taken to the fracture clinic an hour away in Middlesbrough, so He kindly offered to take her as I was working, plus driving to and from the horses: two hours each day.
She saw the same surgeon who had treated Nic two weeks before: ‘Do you scream as loudly as your daughter? ’ At 6pm, He called. They were ready to leave the hospital, but his ancient Jaguar wouldn’t start. The RAC said they couldn’t be there until 10pm, so he called a local tow truck: £100. That never turned up.
He finally returned, having bought a new battery – more than £200 – and by then it was almost midnight. He didn’t complain once, said it was his own fault and refused money towards the repair. I don’t think my ex-husband ever lifted a finger to help me.
When I forced him to collect me in a taxi after fibroid surgery, he refused to ask the driver to go slowly over speed bumps: he always chose anyone working-class over me, his wife. Though when we left London, leaving behind my faithful cleaner of 11 years, I was the one who gave her three months’ wages; it naturally never occurred to him.
I was in pain, confined to bed, and all my ex brought up to me was a punnet of sad, unwashed grapes, in the midst of which was the carapace of a long-dead spider. And Neil? Huh! He didn’t even pay for so much as a glass of water or bring me a daffodil when he stayed for the weekend! I’ve finally, finally learned that helpful trumps handsome. Every time.
Oxygen Cylinder Mini Puppy Dries Van Noten Jacket Net-A-Porter Bottega Veneta REVIVE Diptyque Candles Selfridges Dunhill Lung Damage Countdown Coronation Street Countdown (TV Programme) Essential Items Shopping Online Mistrust Oxygen Therapy Access Preparation Forced Collect Experience Change Perception Arrival Transportation Emergency Fixing Preparation Severity
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