Young women are bringing virtual boyfriends from romance simulators like Love and Deepspace into real-life settings, blurring the line between digital and physical relationships. The trend, fueled by dating-app fatigue and the rise of the manosphere, sees players dressing in game-inspired attire and interacting with their virtual partners in public. Netflix's new K-drama Boyfriend on Demand reflects this growing phenomenon.
You might soft launch a boyfriend with a photo of hands on a romantic table-scape or the image of a mysterious silhouette. A pocket boyfriend, though?
They get the hard launch: video of a hot-pot date, a decked-out ita bag, or matching promise rings. Pocket boyfriends, the ones who populate romance simulators like Love and Deepspace or Mystic Messenger, have officially moved from solely digital spaces to the physical realm.
When I meet four Deepspace players—all young women in their 20s and early 30s—for afternoon tea on a warm spring day, they arrive dressed in game-inspired attire, complete with a bag of merch in one hand and boyfriend-wielding devices in the other. The men on the screen stand or sit with us; one asks a question about his girlfriend’s well-being, another comments on the restaurant's ambience.
Importantly, they do not drone on about a protein hack they heard about on a podcast last week or ask their girlfriend what she brings to the table, and there is no need to worry about a pocket boyfriend ghosting you after a great date. Netflix’s new K-drama Boyfriend on Demand, about a young woman who has sworn off dating but becomes engrossed in a virtual-boyfriend simulation service, isn't a far cry from the current state of romance for lovers of these games.
Love and Deepspace, which follows a customizable main character as she hunts monsters and navigates potential love interests, has gone viral online. Call it dating-app fatigue or a natural reaction to the rise of the manosphere, because while having an IRL boyfriend may feel embarrassing, the digi boyfriend you carry in your pocket is fair game. My meetings with the players are inspired by the TikTok-viral dates Love and Deepspace players have been going on with their friends.
They use the game’s home screen—a café where you meet your love interest of choice—or quality time setting—a feature where you can study, work, or exercise alongside them—to go on real-life dates. Writer and editor Mae Liu and two of her friends recently made a video of themselves at dinner with their “boyfriends” propped up on their phones beside them, jokingly calling it a triple date.
She says they first downloaded the game with no expectations but soon found they were hooked.
“Since we grew up together, all of us were in this really rigorous academic program, so we didn't have a lot of experience dating,” Liu, 22, tells Teen Vogue. “As we grew older, I think we're just all workaholics and we never really prioritize relationships. And I don't date a lot, so having this game is such a stress-free way to explore those feelings or just have that sort of dopamine in a romantic aspect without any repercussions.
You have it on your own terms and you can experiment on your own terms. ” With five different love interests to choose from—fellow monster-hunter Xavier, doctor Zayne, artist Rafayel, “fruit vendor” Sylus, and pilot Caleb—who each have intricate storylines and personas, players often feel most drawn to one and call them their “main” as shorthand. These men are mere projections to fit each player’s unique identity, a mirror that reflects their interests and ideals.
“My friend who likes Zayne, she's very clean, mature, elegant; and then the girl that likes Sylus, she's very girl boss, independent, and very edgy and tough,” says Liu, whose affinity for aquatic aesthetics led her to Rafayel, a merman.
“It’s really fun to affirm your identity and your style as well. It's almost like they're an accessory. ” Liu also attributes the game’s popularity to a generation that’s more online and less afraid of being cringe, pointing out the opportunities the game brings.
“I appreciate it as a way that lets younger girls explore their sexuality and identity rather than a shameful, embarrassing, cringey thing that I can't share with anybody,” she explains. “It’s giving people an example of how they should be treated or the expectations they should have, albeit in a completely different realm.
” When Love and Deepspace went viral, it reached a new generation of players who can see the potential of this game with a fresh set of eyes. But it's actually part of a larger romance- and dating-simulator genre that goes back decades. In Japan, during the '90s, love simulations boomed in popularity. The game credited as the first in the otome genre, dating sims that specifically cater to women, came out in 1994.
Romance role play is also a large part of the Sims franchise. With your Nintendo DS and games like Princess Debut, you could play your love sims on the go. The phone versions aren’t new either. Mystic Messenger, for example, has been around since the 2010s.
Still, there’s some stigma surrounding games that involve self-insert romance. As seen in Boyfriend on Demand, some online commenters speculate that these games can keep you from socializing in real life. They insinuate that players won’t be able to discern their feelings for the fictional characters, or that those who want to collect every special feature of the game will spend their money in excess.
But Adam Reynolds, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in using theater and gaming techniques like role playing in therapy, says it makes a lot of sense that young people might be drawn to these simulators. With real-life romantic situations, “these are times where people feel a little vulnerable,” Reynolds says.
“I think it's harder to have a situation where you feel excited about taking a risk, doing something bold. These games really make it possible to have that feeling of choosing something unexpected and exciting. ” No matter which boy Love and Deepspace players choose, there’s one thing they can all expect: They’ll find him waiting for them on the home page. He might be reading, sleeping, or just standing there staring at them.
Sometimes he’ll ask how they are, toss out a compliment, or say something about how he hasn’t seen them in a while. In a world full of ghosting only to be met with sporadic “wyd” texts, this dependability and thoughtful little pieces of dialogue can make players feel seen, heard, and cared for. Lily Sayre, a 28-year-old stylist, actor, and graphic designer, says Love and Deepspace has taught her about what she wants in an offline relationship going forward.
“Even the guy just asking, ‘Have you eaten today? ’ is such a simple thing,” she says, “but it is so important as somebody who has three jobs. ” This tracks with what Reynolds has seen in how these games have the potential to help people discover more about themselves and what they’re looking for in relationships.
“It can help you understand, given five options, which is the story that interests me? ” he says.
“That can really tell you something about what's exciting you about a relationship, what intrigued you in courtship and dating. And those lessons can be true even if you're dating a person in real life and not a space colonel. ” Though customization options for gender, body type, and hair beyond basic styles are currently lacking, the game’s main-character customization can be another vehicle for self exploration.
Twenty-six-year-old writer Lea Veloso, who was first drawn to play because of Zayne, found herself inspired to experiment in real life because of the character design feature.
“I think the customization and picking out my outfits and just seeing another virtual being in my place, it put a lot of growth into me, where I want to be seen as ethereal and girly,” Veloso says. “It came in a place where I was feeling really basic, but the game helped me try to expand my boundaries when it comes to fashion.
” For emphasis, she points to her cheeks, showing me how she moved her blush placement under her eyes, a trending makeup style in Asia, including in China, where the game was created. The popularity of Love and Deepspace and games like it comes as young women increasingly express their weariness with IRL dating.
Those who date men point to issues like their love interest seeming nonchalant or putting up an emotional wall under the guise of being an alpha male. In the past year, we’ve seen media that shows beautiful men wearing their heart on their sleeve, and most of all, yearning.
These depictions, whether on Heated Rivalry or The Summer I Turned Pretty or Lovely Runner, are resonating with women and queer people who may not be seeing those qualities in real-life men. With the recent rise of the tradwife in media, it’s also worth noting that despite the doting of a love interest in Love and Deepspace, the main character is still portrayed as a strong lead and an equal partner in both dating and work.
You’re not standing by as the men fight or solve the mystery; rather, you’re playing bodyguard for Rafayel, kneeling on Sylus to fight off the cars chasing you, or winning stuffed animals from the claw machine for Xavier. Thirty-year-old Kia Tolentino, who works in social media and influencer marketing, says she feels “inspired” by the main character.
“This girl is going through a lot, but she's so strong,” says Tolentino, whose favorite love interest is Xavier. “I feel like it just makes me want to be strong, too, and also puts my perception of femininity and feminine energy in a different light. ” In a lot of mainstream media, it’s common for action and romance to be mutually exclusive or blended for the male gaze, but here there’s no damsel in distress or girl boss.
Instead, you can do it all; you can go from fighting monsters to getting a makeover without a second thought. One night in mid-January 2025, I braved the crowds in Times Square to see the Love and Deepspace billboard celebrating the game’s first anniversary. While there, I saw friends taking photos of their favorite boy and giggling together. I saw someone patiently waiting for their partner to finish taking videos of the display, which took quite a bit of time.
Amid the chaos of the city, different players passed through, each with a unique identity and relationships that can’t simply be summed up by the extremes of stereotypes about romance gamers. Sayre and Tolentino tell me about some upcoming in-person, fan-led events they plan to attend this spring. They have found a sense of community among other players.
“Certainly we've seen the popularity of Love and Deepspace grow immensely, but there's still those pockets of like, ‘Oh my God, you like this game? …Who's your main? ’” Tolentino says, describing how she’s bonded with others. Sure, some may still find romance games to be taboo, but that doesn’t really matter to these players.
“Because is a reflection of self, that instills so much confidence in you,” Tolentino says. “I want other people to be able to have that feeling. If not with this, something else that they enjoy. ”
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