A professional writer shares their unconventional kitchen tips, marriage-related observations, and humorous stories, including using hockey sticks as curtain rods for storage and enjoying chocolate milk with whiskey for dinner.
I'm a Senior Staff Writer who writes a wide range of topics, spanning from people's real-life drama to pop culture to funny things I find on the internet.
"I used to cook a huge vat of spaghetti, jambalaya, sausage and gravy, or something else. Then I could just ladle out a bowl for dinner throughout the week. It saved so much time. Now meals have to have variety and taste good.
""My living room used to have a weight bench, tool boxes, and a table saw in it instead of a couch and TV, and I kept a gallon of Fast Orange in my shower instead of normal soap or shampoo. Dinner after work was usually frozen fish and spinach with cheese over it in the oven dish I also used as a plate, baked for however long my shower took.
" "I used to keep all my silverware in one big drawer, unsorted. When the dishwasher finishes, just grab the utensil basket and dump it in the drawer. Easy and quick. The first time I did this at her apartment, I received new training.
" "My wife’s friend recently got married. Her husband tried putting his dirty shoes in the dishwasher with the dishes to clean his shoes. She vetoed that in a heartbeat.
" "I got married while I was in college. I timed my daily poop so I could be on campus and use my favorite secret bathroom in the library basement. As such, I didn’t buy toilet paper for my own home. My wife was horrified.
I started buying toilet paper after she moved in.
" "I'm actually glad I stopped doing this, but I used to have chocolate milk with whiskey for dinner whenever I felt down, which was a somewhat common occurrence before I met my girlfriend. ""I stopped using hockey sticks as curtain rods. Some sticks cost well over $200, so I just don't want to throw them away when I break them because of a slap shot.
The added bonus was that whenever my mom came to visit me, one look at the curtain rods and she would burst out laughing.
" "I stopped putting dirty dishes in the fridge so I can procrastinate for a week before having to wash them. ""I stopped leaving dishes in the sink. My entire dish system collapsed because this maniac doesn’t know how to eat off of wrappers/paper towels/used dishes. I could get through a week on one bowl and maybe two or three forks.
Homegirl uses like five separate dishes to eat a fucking snack. I’m doing dishes every other day, and the kitchen is perpetually full of them. The days of a few dishes sitting in the sink are long gone.
" "She helped me learn to buy new things. I was a big fan of using things far past their usefulness. Holes in all my socks, shoes with no rubber left on the bottom, etc. Really improved my life.
" "I had to stop pissing in bottles. I picked up the habit on deployments. She wasn't impressed when I rolled over at 1 a.m. and pissed in a bottle off the bed.
" "She made me put the dishes the right way in the dishwasher. All my dishes are cleaner now than before.
" "I no longer have a bachelor salad. That's where you hold the head of lettuce over the sink, pour dressing on it, and chomp away.
" "I had a boyfriend once who would wear his dirty clothes in the shower, while showering, and 'wash' his clothes by rubbing bar soap all over himself and then claim, triumphantly, that he killed two birds with one stone. My reaction upon witnessing this was just…mouth…agape. He was like, 'My system is so efficient!
'""I would go to Costco once every few months and buy a big box of styrofoam cups. I'd take the cups out, put them in the cupboard, and use the box as a trash can . Apparently, that was 'redneck.
'""I had to stop eating everything for lunch and dinner out of one single bowl and putting it on a plate. " And finally,"I had to stop peeing in the sink. I still did sometimes secretly, but we had four people and 1 bathroom at that point.
"Men, what are things you stopped doing once your significant other moved in? Women, what are things your boyfriend stopped doing once you moved in? Let us know in the comments or use the anonymous form below:
Kitchen Hacks Time-Saving Marriage Humorous Anecdotes Hockey Sticks As Curtain Rods Chocolate Milk With Whiskey
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