A woman lays upside down on the ground in My First Film.
What is it to make a movie? Often, we think of singular auteurs almost effortlessly spinning visions of astounding beauty from nothing but their imagination for us to reverentially take in while immersed in the darkness of a cinema. However, even for those who spend hours reading about the creative process and hungrily consuming the details of a production, rarely can we truly get an honest look into a film’s creation.
What Is 'My First Film' About? The film begins similarly to how Anger’s solo performance did with text and clips, recounting one particularly frustrating interview that serves as a launching point into her past. This further soon shifts to being more built around narration as opposed to the reading of written words, though we do occasionally see text being typed on screen.
As we see, this film is by no means the creation of just one person and, in many ways, its crumbling comes because that wasn’t appreciated. Though Vita is its director, the story expands to see more of the crew in a way that Anger’s solo show didn’t, finding more unexpected character beats just as it explores similar thematic ground.
Without robbing any of what preceded it of its power and sense of mourning, all the layers it pulls back reveal something preciously hopeful. It’s still painful and more than a bit unwieldy in ways it may not have a full handle on, but is that not life as an artist? Anger certainly seems to think so and, as it all gets realized so spectacularly here, her fantastic first film that’s really not the first is one we can only hope serves as a new beginning to many more.
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