6 guidelines to creating healthy boundaries and protecting your closest relationships
to your own likes and dislikes. Give this step some serious thought. As Seneca, the Roman philosopher, said:It is best to orient your matehe or she crosses one of your invisible lines. It is a mistake to just sit there hoping that you will get what you want and then reacting badly when you do not.Once you are clear about what you want, you need to find a way to clearly and calmly communicate to your mate where these boundaries are.
Mark was puzzled and hurt by Betty’s rejection. He mumbled something about needing to get to work, and quickly left. Luckily, Mark really liked Betty and, despite feeling rejected, he texted her and told her how much he had enjoyed their date. He then asked if she were free the next evening. Her warm and immediate reply reassured him. Eventually, Betty felt comfortable enough to confide her true feelings about having sex first thing upon awakening.
Get dressed. We are going out to dinner with Tommy and Jen. They know a great new Brazilian restaurant. You will love it.Betty put on her happy face and went along with Mark’s plans. Later, she realized that she needed to tell Mark that she wanted to change the way that they had been handling things. So..the next morning during breakfast, she said:
What I would really like is if you would call me first before making unexpected plans for us. That way, if I am really not up for going out, I can let you know before you make plans. And, if we both do decide to go out, I can have more time to get ready.
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