'What I've learned about marriage (second time around)'
, says Clover Stroud, requires a certain leap of faith. But once you've jumped in with two feet, how do you make it work? By taking responsibility for your own happiness, embracing your imperfections and trying to slam the door less.friend once told me you know you're a grown up when you no longer make the same mistake twice. She threw it into conversation after I told her I was getting married again.
But the point is that although both relationships fall under the institutional term 'marriage', they are playing out in a very different way, and this isn’t just because I’ve been married to very different men. Neither, I hasten to add, is it because I think I got it 'right' this time having got it 'wrong' last time.
Things changed, then unraveled, quickly. Looking back now, almost two decades later, I see we were both too young, too selfish, too driven by what we personally wanted and felt was due to us, rather than wanted as a team, to make the small, daily shifts and huge, life-changing accommodations that a relationship, with the same person every single day for the rest of your life, demands.
I’m not saying that scrutinizing myself was especially pleasant. I could see that I’d held onto anger when things didn’t go my way, and I’d blamed too much, and avoided responsibility when it should have been mine. Married or single, those were parts of myself I didn’t want to nurture.For a while, learning to be alone in the new status quo, to support the children and myself and find some stability, was all that mattered.
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