“If you want healthy control of your life, you need to actively train your emotions to be your ally,” StevenCHayes writes. Here’s how.
When emotions are only about what is pleasant or unpleasant right now, the more important features of emotion disappear.
This was his worst nightmare coming true. And yet he followed through with the advice. And after years of suffering, in just a week he was freed from hisMany years later, we’ve learned a lot about how “exposure” works and can best be done. It can indeed have a very rapid impact on many clients, and it is one of the best-supported intervention methods in all of behavioral science. But what is the deeper lesson of emotion and exposure?Your emotions help you make sense of the world.
When emotions are only about what is pleasant or unpleasant in subjective experience right now, the more important features of emotion disappear. We should be noticing those features. What does this situation remind me of? Exactly what am I feeling in my body, and where? Is there a name for this? Have I felt it before? What does this feeling suggest I need or should attend to?
If you can slow down and expand; if you stop running or clinging and adopt a sense of curiosity, emotions become more nuanced and differentiated. Remember how scary it used to be when you first drove a car and how that impact made it hard to sequence your skills? Chances are you experience a softer and broader set of emotions now while driving and their unwelcome behavioral interference is much less. Instead, now you can appreciate the drive.
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