The Perils of 'But' and Uninvited Gifts

Social Etiquette News

The Perils of 'But' and Uninvited Gifts
MANNERSSOCIAL ADVICEGIFT-GIVING
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This article explores the social awkwardness of people offering excuses and unsolicited advice. It uses personal anecdotes to illustrate how common it is for people to feel compelled to explain themselves, even when it's not necessary or helpful. The piece also touches on the complexities of gift-giving in situations where there is little personal connection.

The author shares two anecdotes about people offering excuses for not following through on promises. In the first, her mother admits to eating the dinner she cooked for the author. In the second, a friend mentions hosting a tea party but not inviting the author. The author then discusses a series of encounters where people offer unsolicited explanations for her health issues and bathroom breaks.

She points out the tendency for people to feel compelled to offer explanations or advice, even when it's unwarranted or unhelpful. The author concludes with a letter to Miss Manners regarding a baby shower for a distant cousin. The invitation process was unconventional, with gift registry links sent via text message and some family members receiving invitations while others did not. The couple, living out of state, will be attending the shower virtually, despite not having met many extended family members during their previous visit to the state. Miss Manners responds by questioning the need to shower these distant relatives with gifts and expresses concern about the lack of genuine connection in the situation.

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