Yes, that’s right: FatBearWeek is almost here
Behold, a fat bear. Photo: Getty Images Perhaps at some point in the past week or six months you have thought, Damn, this year truly blows, can it freaking end yet? And, well, it cannot; such is the nature of time. But we are coming upon a reprieve, a compelling reason for waking up every day, a holiday actually worth celebrating, and what I am christening the most glorious week of the year.
Your guess is correct: I am, of course, talking about Fat Bear Week, the annual March Madness–style competition held by Katmai National Park in Alaska to determine which ursine resident has beefed up so remarkably that they’re worthy of recognition. It officially kicks off next week. On Twitter, the U.S. Department of the Interior recently asked, “Are you ready for Fat Bear Week?” And, my goddess, allow me to answer for us all with a resounding yes.
For those unfamiliar with this single-elimination tournament, here’s a quick synopsis: We the People can freely tune into Katmai’s grainy live cam to observe hefty brown bears frolicking in Brooks River and lunging their huge bods at jumping sockeye salmon, upon which they’ll gorge themselves to survive winter hibernation. Then, we get to vote for our favorite beefy boys and girls, who are pitted against each other on the park’s dedicated Fat Bear Week website.
Then, we watch to see which lucky bear will join those who have previously been crowned victorious, which includes 435 Holly, a strapping broad who cinched the title last year, and 409 Beadnose, whom a park ranger described to the Cut as “an independent woman.” All right, ladies!
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