SexDiaries: 11:00 p.m. I sprawl atop a traditional quilt and take a sexy topless selfie and send it to H. He tells me he’s so hard and asks if he can see me touch myself
Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher In this week’s sex diary, a woman keeps up flirtations over text, meets new people on Hinge, and sends lots of nudes. 26, single, Maine.11:30 a.m. For the past two weeks, I’ve been isolating in a cabin in the woods in Maine with a friend from growing up, whose family generously offered to let us stay here for a while. The decision to leave the city was hard, but the opportunity felt like the only way to make a safe getaway, so I said yes.
11:00 p.m. Still there? I text him. The last conversation we had was me telling him I couldn’t see him until it’s safe again. He told me he wasn’t taking any of the rules seriously, which worried me. Still here, he responded right away. Just checking in to say I wish we were having sex rn, I texted, grinning like an idiot. L and I keep making fun of each other for our boy-texting faces.
6:00 p.m. Six on the dot! I close my laptop and pour a glass of wine. I’ve never been the type to drink every night, but now that I’m actually cooking, I love the instant calm of sipping pinot noir as I chop and sauté and try not to burn anything. Isolation is domesticating me. 11:30 a.m. We keep sexting. T tells me he’s been laying in bed imagining what it would be like for me to sit on his face. I tell him I’m officially at zero percent productivity, staring out into the distance, completely useless. He reminds me that I asked for it and, yeah, I did.
He sends me a photo of his abs after coming and I look at it as I finish, which takes a really long time. I joke that he can go to the dishes or something and he scoffs, telling me he’s not going anywhere and it’s so sexy to just hear me, that he loves the sounds I make. It’s so tender I want to cry. I finally finish and we hang up. I’m proud of myself for trying something new and feel oddly encouraged that I could do something I’ve never done “in bed” before even during isolation.10:00 a.m.
7:00 p.m. T sends me a video of himself coming and asks me what turns me on, what I want. I tell him something that’s never really come up with any other guys, which is that I’m a total exhibitionist and would love to film myself with someone, and have other people in the room watching. He tells me he is down for all of the above and has done it before. At this point I can tell I’m not attracted to him, but we have a mutual respect for each other’s isolation horniness.
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