This article explores the difference between healthy independence and hyper-independence, a trait that can negatively impact relationships and mental health. It emphasizes the importance of knowing when to ask for help and the potential benefits of seeking support.
There’s no shortage of bangers that celebrate being independent. Maybe you’ve thrown your hands up to Destiny’s Child’s “Independent Women Pt.1” or belted out Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life” at the top of your lungs in the car. These songs conjure up the idea of someone strong and capable of taking care of themself without any help whatsoever. There’s no question that American culture sees independence as a virtue. Doing something on your own without asking for help is praised.
Even in a relationship, maybe you are someone who prides yourself on not needing your partner to care for you emotionally or financially. Certainly, there is value in being independent. However, according to therapists, when taken to the extreme, independence can get in the way of maintaining healthy relationships and also cause a lot of anxiety. There’s actually a term for it: hyper-independence, which is known as an extreme form of self-reliance and actively avoiding relying on others for help. Knowing the difference between healthy independence and hyper-independence is tricky. But if you are hyper-independent, learning how to ask for help can benefit both your relationships and overall mental health. Someone hyper-independent may, for example, not ask for help at work even when feeling completely lost, insist on their partner never paying for them or have trouble delegating because they don’t trust others to do the task right.“It’s all about severity. Hyper-independence is an extreme form of self-reliance, possibly to the point of isolating yourself from your support network and refusing help even when it’s much needed,” she said. Ross emphasized that independence isn’t inherently “bad”; it is often a good thing. But if your level of independence is reaching the point where it’s negatively impacting your relationships or causing you anxiety, that’s when it’s likely too much
Independence Hyper-Independence Relationships Mental Health Therapy
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