Since April, schlife has been sporadically checking up on impossible-to-access restaurants, like, Kwame Onwuachi’s Tatiana, to investigate what happens when somebody shows up at 7:30 and is willing to wait as long as it takes for a table
, Kwame Onwuachi’s Lincoln Center restaurant that — even within the genre of impossible tables — has been described asbooked up . I knew that they did hold some space for walk-ins, but that it was limited to six seats, all of which would surely be snatched by the time I arrived at 7:30.
I asked my most patient friend if she wanted to join me — “It’s going to be a gorgeous night,” I offered, “and we can sit by the fountain!” — but warned her we might end up standing around for many hours before ultimately eating at whatever fast-casual chain was still open at midnight. Walking into the plaza at Lincoln Center, I noticed hordes of people lining up for the opera, the ballet, and the theater. Surely, some of these people were lining up for Tatiana, as well? Across from the Vivian Beaumont, I noticed some outdoor seating: couches with marble tables and umbrellas, sandwiched between a wall of potted plants and the western side of David Geffen Hall. They were empty, and I wondered what they were for.
I made eyes at the hostesses guarding this empty fortress and headed into the restaurant for my regularly programmed mission of securing an “impossible table.” The crowded vestibule was filled with people who had dutifully reserved their tables weeks — months? — in advance. Unsurprisingly, I learned that the main dining room was fully booked, and was told to check with ahost at the bar. “Last call is at 10:30, and there are one, two, three … 11 names ahead of yours,” said the bar host.
Outside, the crowds had mostly entered their eight o’clock performances, and the scene was relatively quiet. The parameters of “Impossible Tables” dictate that I am not allowed to cheat: Snacking on bar bites does not count as securing a table. I started to wonder how late the
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