Learn the secrets of freestyle and battle-rapping to become sexy and successful. Backed by science; proven by experience. Learn the secrets of freestyle and battle-rapping to become sexy and successful. Backed by science; proven by experience.
A strategic but unforced shutdown of the conscious mind can put the mouth in overdrive and birth a potent rapper.
It was a fall Friday, 1987, with a varsity football game that night where we could wander the grounds in groups eating Mike & Ike’s and begin to stare at girls, unabated by our parents in the bleachers. In just a few hours we’d feel like what we thought young adults felt like, and a tangible anticipation had arisen in the lunchroom. The magic of the moment was thick.Portrait of the artist as a young and charismatically in-yo-face freestyler.
So, 8-year-old-me did it, an extended, improv proto-rap to a Little Richard melody. The first few lines were rough, then—BLAOW—spontaneous combustion, my effort inverted and what I’d been trying to do was happening on its own. Out came sly lyrics about Sega Genesis, the WWF, Poison, Cindy Crawford, Bo Jackson, and the Philadelphia Eagles, even lyrics about my friends and the things around us . It all felt strangely familiar, like an ability I must’ve forgotten I had.
I compared his singing to cats copulating, I pointed out his watermelon-sized and egg-shaped head, I negged his rusty-ass Schwinn bike I reminded him about that time in 2grade he came back from the bathroom with poo on his leg, and about the week before last when he cried after Adam clotheslined him during recess, and for the deathblow, I inquired why his mom’s legs didn’t change shape from her thighs down to her ankles — the lunchroom exploded, and someone hit Rhett with a strawberry milk.
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