SNL's Donald Trump summoned Pete Hegseth to explain how the U.S. has 'won' the Iran war and why the press should stop asking about it.
‘s Pete Hegseth has a solution for oil tankers stuck in the Strait of Hormuz by the threat of Iranian mines: do what he used to do at DUI checkpoints. at a gas station after the president tried to explain away his broken campaign promises of no new wars and low gas prices.
And Hegseth, emerging from the back seat of a family’s car along with dozens of empty beer cans, began“The news is: we won! Hashtag ‘winning!’ So you can stop asking me all about it. Don’t even,” he said. “The real problem is all you gaybies—gay babies, copyright—all you gaybies in the media are completely unpatriotic, okay? They’re using what I do and say to make me look like a fool!”Jack Osbourne Names Baby Daughter After Late Father OzzyAfter Iran shut it down, causing oil and gas prices to spike, Trump told oil tankers to just “show some guts”—despite the mines. And“If you’re an oil tanker, and you’re driving it, and you see one of those mines, do what I do at a DUI checkpoint: close your eyes and gun it!” instructed Hegseth.Final Oscars Predictions: Who Will Win and Should Win in the Ultimate Showdown Between 'Sinners' and 'One Battle After Another'‘Over Your Dead Body’ Review: Jason Segel and Samara Weaving Are Out to Kill Each Other in a Mad Thriller That May Be the Quintessential SXSW Movie
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