Sefik Tagay, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology at TH Köln, University of Applied Sciences in Germany.
Why do painful moments stay vivid while many good ones fade? Memory gives extra weight to experiences that threaten safety, belonging, autonomy, competence, dignity, and meaning.Shame is not a side effect of trauma.
It often shapes how survivors see themselves, hide their pain, and struggle to heal.Many men avoid therapy not because they do not care, but because help-seeking can feel like a threat to identity, dignity, control, and belonging.Trauma isn't just an event. It can shake core psychological needs that keep us safe, connected, and whole. Healing begins when we rebuild these needs, one foundation at a time.Self Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.
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