'You Hurt My Feelings' is a funny and incisive look at middle-age malaise, a time when potential has been replaced by plateaus and one might take an inordinate amount of pleasure in the comfort that comes from a well-made pair of socks.
Filmmaker Nicole Holofcener has fashioned a wonderful career mining her characters’ angst and annoyances. So when in her latest wry comedy, “You Hurt My Feelings,” Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ Beth lets out a sigh at an anniversary dinner with her husband, Don , and beams, “We’re so lucky,” we can be fairly certain that Beth’s contentment isn’t going to last much past the meal.
Everything we learn about Beth and Don’s marriage in the film’s opening half-hour, from the thoughtful way they treat each other to the way that their open displays of affection grosses out their adult son, Eliott , seems to confirm the proclaimed good fortune. Professionally, they’re both sort of successful. Beth makes a living as a writer and Don has been a therapist for many years.
But there’s also the sense that by saying these words out loud, Beth is, to a small degree, trying to talk herself into believing them. Yes, “You Hurt My Feelings” explores the incident of its title and the risks and limits of total honesty in a relationship. But it’s also a funny and incisive look at middle-age malaise, a time when potential has been replaced by plateaus and one might take an inordinate amount of pleasure in the comfort that comes from a well-made pair of socks.
Beth is crushed. Her first book, a memoir, sold modestly. None of the students in the writing class she leads have even heard of it. So her self-esteem is already shaky. And now this betrayal. “I’m never going to be able to look him in the face ever again,” Beth tells Sarah, spiraling. “How can he respect me if he doesn’t like my work?” She’s self-aware enough to know that she needs approval, particularly from the man she loves and, up to this moment, has trusted.
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