Mother's Day should be a time of appreciation and leisure for moms. Why does it seem to flop?
Managing expectations can reset your Mother's Day, and your mood.I survived relatively unscathed this year. It was pretty great. I swam laps, did yoga, saw my kids, took myself to a fave bookstore, and connected with other moms. But it hasn’t always been this way—far from it.
Another Mother’s Day, I drove to brunch almost rear-ending a sedan swerving inches from me, arriving at my destination shaken. Then, my youngest hit and nearly bit my daughter when she drove him home. There were times I cooked for everyone, several times. Or, when an ex made reservations at a restaurant with food we couldn’t eat . And of course, the COVID times, when we nibbled take-out on the porch, in the pouring rain. Super soggy.
These Ghosts of Mother’s Day Past are minor, and I know it. There are countless children without moms, and mothers who tragically lost children. There are frosty—or worse, abusive—mother-child relations. Children, mothers, who are homeless, lost. Women desperate to be mothers but unable; impoverished moms, widowed, and bereft moms; limitless permutation.
Maybe they gleaned moments of that, but breakfast in bed spilled everywhere or was inedible, but meals needed to be made beyond breakfast . Children didn’t magically learn to do laundry, clean up, bathe independently, or cook. If a mother had a male partner, he might be as helpless as the kids. And if there were two moms, they could be more disappointed than one. Single moms? Well, they got to pick up all the slack.
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