'For me, I felt like the second year was harder than the first. You're bracing yourself the first year, knowing it will be tough. ...'
And after hundreds of responses, we provided a few of their answers below."The biggest thing for me was to let go of regrets or times where I wish I had done things differently. I realized that my dad is in heaven , and there's only good in heaven. So, as my father is looking down on me, he doesn't feel sad, mad, or regretful about the times when I'd let him down. He only felt love.
Watching someone actively die isn't like it's portrayed on TV or in the movies. Sometimes, it's sudden; sometimes, it's slow; sometimes, it's peaceful; and sometimes, it's not. I watched my mom die for three days. Very long, slow, agonizing days, which meant experiencing the 'death rattle' for the first time. Every time she breathed in, I panicked, thinking it was her last breath.
'Do you know what funeral home we should call?' 'Cremation or embalming?' 'Does she have a will?' And the questions just continue and get harder to answer up until the funeral. The first few days afterward are a blur, because you want to grieve, you want to cry and feel sad, but you have to hold it together and answer questions.
I grieved all over again realizing that, but accepting my anger really helped me realize that not having the pain of our relationship anymore was...nice, in its way.
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