Kelsey Borresen is a senior reporter at HuffPost Life, covering love, sex and relationships. She is a graduate of the University of Southern California's Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism and lives in Los Angeles.
It stings when you discover you weren’t invited to that couples dinner, industry event or weekend trip with your college pals. Your mind starts swirling, and you conclude that you are a social outcast destined for a life of loneliness. Or maybe you’re convinced that the friend who planned this intentionally excluded you because they’re a terrible person.
“They got together out of convenience, meaning the two of them were together, they saw the coffee shop down the street, and they decided to go to the coffee shop. The decision was less about you and more about proximity.” “Sometimes it’s logistical, sometimes it’s an oversight, sometimes they’re doing it for what they believe to be noble reasons.”She’s also noticed that people tend to take not getting invited “very personally” while acknowledging how hurtful the experience can be.Goldfarb said even she struggles with this from time to time. For example, when she finds out a friend went to dinner in her neighborhood but didn’t call her, she sometimes gets a “ping of hurt.
These reasons require you to look inward: Is there, perhaps, something you’re doing that’s putting people off? And though these might be hard to consider, doing some introspection is a good thing. In fact, having self-awareness is an important first step toward having better friendships, said Bayard Jackson.
And take note if you’re hearing the same comments about your attitude or conversational habits from different people in your life.
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