AskABoss: 'Our daily check-ins regularly feel like mini therapy sessions for him'
When lockdown began, my department initiated a daily online catch-up, usually lasting about half an hour, to see how everyone’s doing and for important work updates. Originally it was a nice way to check in, and though I don’t think a daily meeting is necessary, I really appreciate the effort to keep everyone connected.
I really, really feel for him and totally sympathize with his frustrations, but I’m beginning to feel like an outlet for free therapy. I don’t feel like it helps to get regular buckets of negativity dumped on us like this, and I really don’t feel it’s appropriate for managers to vent so much to subordinates who can’t get out of listening to him.
So Ron is asking for emotional labor from you that he doesn’t have the right to expect. And it’s made worse because he’s your boss, which — as you point out — means you’re a captive audience and probably don’t feel as comfortable asking him to cut it out as you would with a peer. As a manager, it’s his responsibility to be aware of that and not use his employees as an emotional dumping ground.
Alternately, toward the end of one of the meetings, you could say, “We often end up spending these meetings talking about how bad things are in the world, and I find it pretty stressful! It’s easier for me to manage the stress of it all when I don’t focus on it at work, and I wondered if others would be up for staying more focused on work if we can.
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