I like my daughter’s fiance, but I find his request odd — and so does she.
But as you did ask her, Miss Manners must say, once again, that a wedding is not like a play with specific roles to be cast. The wedding should fit the families, not the other way around.
It is not mandatory that there be a best man. The simple function of handing over the bride’s ring could be done by the maid of honor, if there is one. Or even by you, as you will be at the altar anyway, although at your daughter’s side, not his.Instead of discussing ideas in a civil tone, my husband tries to dismiss any attempts at debate by shutting me down with a label both inaccurate and cruel. Debasing a person with an ad hominem attack is the “craziest” thing I have ever seen.
In the past, I have told him he doesn’t have the licensing requirements to diagnose any illness. It doesn’t stop his attacks.Is it safe to presume that your husband is not trying to build a case to have you committed to an asylum so that he can carry on with the lady next door? Assuming those are not his intentions, it is only a matter of teaching him a polite euphemism. Miss Manners suggests one that was in frequent use in the U.S. Congress in better days: “I believe you are gravely mistaken.”
However, as you may have observed from our government in action, there are people who prefer delivering insults to working out differences. If your husband is such a one, Miss Manners can only offer you her sympathy.
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