It is for your own sake that Miss Manners begs you not to consider suffering to be competitive.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I don’t understand people who complain about getting old.
Many people are not afforded the luxury of living a long, healthy life. Instead of complaining, they should thank their lucky stars that they’ve lived long enough to see their children have families of their own, have grandchildren and even great-grandchildren. Would you be comforted if someone whose child died even younger said that you were lucky to have yours for 25 years? Or if a childless person said you were lucky to have had him at all? People do say such cruel things, and such comparisons are always hurtful.
Miss Manners cannot help wondering if your mother-in-law was close to your son, in which case, she, too, is bereaved. In any case, at her age, she will have been losing her contemporaries. And whether in good general health or not, she is perhaps suffering aches and pains and the loss of abilities she used to take for granted.
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