Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: When we go out to eat, my husband sits there across the table from me and flirts with other women, whether they’re customers or restaurant workers. What should I say to him?One of my in-laws will wait for a person to finish speaking, then say something on a completely different subject. No “hmmm,” “interesting” or any other noncommittal word to acknowledge what the other person was talking about.
According to his wife, his reason for doing this is “not knowing what to say about it.” If one of us wants to go back to the previous subject, before he changed it, would we be rude for doing so?: It depends on how you finesse it. Miss Manners would not want it to look as if you were doing the same thing to him.
It feels controlling and attention-seeking. How can I politely start serving dessert before she is finished?: In a loud voice, meant to be addressed to the antsy kids , Miss Manners suggests announcing, “Normally we wait until everyone is finished eating, but I don’t want to rush Cousin Sophie. With your permission, Sophie, we will start to clear the dishes. But please let us know when you are ready for dessert.
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