Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
I’m not well-off, and my friend is. She loves eating at nice restaurants. I can’t afford those, so I usually take her out for hamburgers. She knows my financial circumstances.
Should I refuse to accompany her? Or give up and figure that she can afford it, and that she doesn’t care that I can’t reciprocate?The latter is obviously the case, but you should still reciprocate -- just not in a restaurant competition. Unless you can find a really good restaurant that is not yet well-enough known to charge high prices.
But you needn’t; there are other ways to reciprocate. She must have interests besides eating well. You could give her a small, well-chosen present, such as a book that might interest her, or a gadget that could solve some problem she mentioned. Or volunteer to run an errand, saving her time or stress.
I was quoted in a newspaper, and people have mentioned to my husband that my statement resonated with their own feelings. One gentleman said, “Your wife is becoming more famous than you.”
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