Parents hate eating with their daughter’s rude boyfriend. Should they say something to him?
My husband and I were raised not to put more food on our plates than we would eat, and to stay seated during a meal unless we asked to be excused.
Our adult daughter’s boyfriend was apparently taught differently. He fills his plate to overflowing, though he is very picky and never finishes his food, and actually takes extra meat to give to my daughter’s dog. He doesn’t talk to us during the meal, and whenever he is done, he just gets up and leaves to feed the dog.
We find this to be rude! The waste also bothers me. We have spoken to our daughter about it, and she replies that it's no big deal. She says that we are not being friendly hosts. She spends way more time with his family because they are more “chilled out” and don't mind him giving food to their dogs.
They have been dating for three years. My husband says that if we want our daughter to keep visiting, we should just let this go. Do I have to let it go forever? Should I say something directly to him?had both the authority and the opportunity to correct your daughter’s manners while she was growing up, and you are likely used to acting in a quasi-parental capacity to her visiting friends, cousins, etc. But boyfriends — particularly adult ones — fall outside of this scope.
Abhorrent though his manners may be, you would do better to treat him as the guest that he is — particularly as you no doubt wish to be consulted on the more pressing matter of whether he should become a permanent part of the family.I have noticed, even among people I otherwise consider well-mannered, a new trend. During a meal, when someone wants to speak while eating, they hold their hand up to obscure their mouth.
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