I am very uncomfortable letting her treat me to fancy outings because I’m unlikely to ever be able to reciprocate.
In today's column, Miss Manners helps a reader who worries about being unable to cover more than hamburgers when she takes her friend out to lunch.
Should I refuse to accompany her? Or give up and figure that she can afford it, and that she doesn’t care that I can’t reciprocate?The latter is obviously the case, but you should still reciprocate – just not in a restaurant competition. Unless you can find a really good restaurant that is not yet well-enough known to charge high prices.
You needn’t do this at every meeting, as if in payment for lunch. Just often enough to show that you care about your friend and enjoy contributing to her happiness, as she does to yours. That is what reciprocation in friendship is.I’m in serious need of help. My husband and I are both considered leaders in our community, although my husband has a professional role as such, while I do not.
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