Liza Minnelli opened up about her complicated but loving relationship with her mom, Judy Garland, in her new memoir
Liza Minnelli jokingly describes herself as “the original nepo baby” because of her famous parents, but her Old Hollywood pedigree didn’t mean that her life was always easy. In her new memoir, Kids, Wait Till You Hear This!, the EGOT winner, 79, described a childhood that was at times magical but also full of difficulty.
The only daughter of iconic actress Judy Garland and director Vincente Minnelli, Liza learned early on that her mom felt challenged by her daughter’s career in show business. “Papa always joked that my career in show business was preordained. Mama was initially skeptical,” Liza wrote. “Despite imagining my name on a marquee, she did try at first to steer me away from the bright lights. Then, reluctantly, she threw her hands up, putting me on concert stages and on television at a young age. I’d feel this conflict in Mama my whole life.” As Liza got older, she recalled Garland making her 'terrifyingly aware” of what she “didn’t do well” in her work. “There were moments of great love from her, as well as stinging critiques I came to dread,” she recalled. “A feeling of deep inadequacy. Years later, I wonder if I’ve fully risen above it.” While Liza still feels love for her mother, who died in 1969 at age 47, she didn’t shy away from revealing the darker parts of their past in the book, opening up about her mother’s marriages, divorces and struggles with drug and alcohol abuse. “I wish I could hold Mama in my arms now, tell her how much I love her and give her all the attention and help she deserved yet never received,” Liza wrote. Kids, Wait Till You Hear This! is out now. Keep scrolling for the biggest revelations about Garland from the book:When Liza was 5 years old, she was playing at home with her parents when she accidentally kicked her mom in the head and quickly learned what it was like to be the child of an addict. “Suddenly she was screaming at me. She screamed and screamed, and it seemed as if the yelling went on for hours,” she recalled. “From that moment on, my fear of her never went away. I had hurt my precious mama. And I'd never get over it. I’d never stop believing that I needed to protect her.” According to Liza, the “horror of screaming voices” remains her one and only “trigger for trauma” as an adult.Liza became aware early on that her mother was struggling with alcohol and drug abuse. On some days, adults would tell her not to go into Garland’s room, but other times, Garland would confide her “fears, resentments and anger” to her young daughter. “I was a kid, 5 years old, and, as odd as this may sound, this was therapy for her,” Liza explained. “She’d sit me down and vent. I’d listen quietly and nod as she went on, even though it wasn’t easy to understand what she was saying. She treated me like a psychoanalyst and made no apologies for doing it.” Shortly after welcoming her second child, daughter Lorna Luft, with second husband Sid Luft, Garland attempted suicide. According to Liza, “Mama was wrestling with postpartum depression, made worse by overdosing on barbiturates, amphetamines and alcohol.” Later, Liza and the family maid worked together to hide Garland’s medication to prevent her from overdosing, replacing the prescription pills with aspirin. “At 13, I was my mother’s caretaker — a nurse, doctor, pharmacologist and psychiatrist rolled into one. It was a crazy balancing act,” she recalled, describing it as a “nightmare” situation. “I lost count of the times I called doctors to say she’d run out of pills. They often told me they couldn’t give her another prescription. It was too soon. I’d say: ‘I’m a kid! Please fill my mama’s prescription!’”After her 1951 divorce from her second husband , Vincente Minnelli, Garland married her third husband, Sid Luft. At the time, Liza was staying with Vincente but was unaware that she was at her dad’s house because her mom was busy getting remarried. “The evening news came on, and there was a picture of Mama and Sid on the screen. The announcer said they had been secretly married three days before,” Liza wrote. “I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Mama got married. Without telling me. Worse, I had missed the wedding party! I was sure it took place in some ritzy hotel and felt bad.” Vincente, however, told his daughter years later that she “made a quick recovery” by eating ice cream.When Liza made her professional stage debut in the Off-Broadway musical Best Foot Forward in 1963, she was “deeply” hurt when her mother didn’t attend opening night, claiming that she had “mixed up the dates.” Liza, however, attempted to make the best of it by learning to “never bring anything negative onstage” during a performance. “After the show, I began to wonder if Mama wasn’t doing me a favor,” she added. “Maybe she knew that her presence would suck all the oxygen away from me and our show on opening night and chose to stay away. Maybe. Who knows?” Later, Garland convinced her to leave the show early so she could join her on the West Coast as she taped her TV variety show — after convincing Liza’s boyfriend to move to L.A. as well. “What could I do? I was 17 years old. I was in love!” Liza recalled. “And I loved my mother. I still do. … Still, I could never forget the feelings of hurt — abandonment, even — when Mama made it clear that her needs were more important than my feelings.” Liza then landed a role in a revival of Carnival, which was set to open in early 1964. Ten days before opening night, however, Garland issued a statement saying that Liza would not be in the show because she was a minor and did not have her parents’ permission. After Liza issued her own statement in contradiction, Garland threatened to sue the producers and send Liza to boarding school. Eventually, however, Garland “backed down” and Liza did the show. Her mother later told her that she was impressed because the Carnival debacle marked the first time she 'absolutely defied” her. “You hurt. It enraged me,” Liza recalled her mother saying. “But you stood on your own two feet. God, how I admired and loved you for having the courage to do it!”In 1964, Garland asked her daughter to perform with her at the London Palladium. Initially, this seemed like a golden opportunity, but as Liza’s portion of the show continued, she realized her mom wasn’t thrilled by the audience’s positive reaction. “I heard her whispering to our producer, Harold Davison: ‘Harold, get her off my f***ing stage!’ I heard it!” Liza claimed. “Her drive, her competitive force, wouldn’t let her take a back seat to anyone. It didn’t matter that I was her daughter. … It took me several years … no, decades … before I understood that her competition with me was a compliment to the performer I was becoming.” When Liza made her Broadway debut at age 19 in Flora the Red Menace, her mother called and said she wanted to sit in the front row on opening night. Legendary producer Hal Prince put a stop to it, but Garland attended the cast party and “made her presence known to everyone,” climbing up on the piano to sing. “There was no stopping her,” Liza remembered. “I was furious and resigned, but also proud. Thank God she hadn’t disrupted the performance. For that much I was grateful.”When Liza began to audition for an early film role in 1969’s The Sterile Cuckoo, her mother was at first skeptical of why she wanted the part. Eventually, however, Garland helped her practice her audition scene, and Liza landed the role. “Mama had given me one of the most valuable lessons for any actor: You’ve got to know how to crawl inside a character and make the person come alive,” she recalled.Liza, then 23, was in South Hampton, New York, on June 22, 1969, when she learned her mother had died earlier that morning while in London. “Panic, heartache and confusion were flooding into my brain. I was crushed, overwhelmed,” she wrote, noting that she cried for eight days. “At the same time, I realized that someone had to organize a complicated public funeral, starting now. And that person was me.” Before the funeral, a doctor prescribed Valium to Liza to help her deal with the “stress and tension” of the event, which led to her own yearslong struggle with substance abuse. “It was the first time I took any such drug, and I marveled at how quickly it took the edge off,” she recalled. “But Valium triggered something dreadful in me, like a match igniting a fire. What began as a one-day blessing soon turned into a habit, then a full-blown case of addiction in the years ahead. It was a final gift, a genetic inheritance from Mama I could not escape.” If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP . If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.
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