Remember, you’re human and won’t hit the mark every time. What might help people shield their reactions against veering in a damaging direction?
Researchers examined the link between stepping outside one’s outlook and counterproductive responses.
The study showed that people who see arguments through a different lens react in less detrimental ways.Source: PNW Production/PexelsEnvision moments when you reacted to your partner as fruitfully as you aspired to, when you were open, kind, and constructive . Just now, at least one moment probably came to mind; if you give it some time, others will likely arise.
Now, let’s remember that you’re human, so you’re just not going to hit that mark every time. You’re going to have moments when you don’t react to your partner as effectively as you would have hoped. Perhaps that means uttering words that hurt your partner’s feelings, paying noto what they’re trying to tell you, blaming, passing judgment, invalidating your partner, getting defensive, being hostile, speaking harshly, shutting down, pulling away, or combining some of these. You’re going to do.
As their researchers noted, their work is the first explicit examination of the potential for perspective-taking to reduce the harmful responses people employ to insulate themselves emotionally. Their findings revealed that people generally tended to react in more harmful ways when their partner was hurtful. However, this pattern broke for people who used perspective-taking by considering their partner’s standpoint or envisioning how they might feel if they were in their partner’s position.
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