I’ve been told of some pretty significant secrets in my time – from affairs, to secret children, to gambling problems, to bankruptcies – so the bar for titillation has been significantly raised.
“I need to tell you about last night,” my friend said, and I leaned in.Ah, the vault, I thought. That locked room in my mind. The repository for all my secrets. I used to love nothing more than a request to keep something secret. It made me feel trusted, and valued, and important, and meant that exciting information was forthcoming.
Usually, it’s easy to keep a secret locked in my vault, particularly when I am not invested in the outcome. One of my kids will tell me in confidence that their friend Tess has broken up with her boyfriend, or my partner will tell me not to say anything but his friend Bill is selling his business, and I don’t know Tess, and I barely know Bill, and I’ve forgotten the story before they’ve even stopped talking.
And it certainly doesn’t count if you spill to your out-of-town friend, who doesn’t know any of the people anyway and would have nobody relevant to tell.Many burdensome secrets expire naturally, ceasing to be secrets after a time. I’ve learnt of separations, early pregnancies, forthcoming promotions and planned big moves and have kept them strictly confidential until they became public knowledge. Then, once they did, I breathed a sigh of relief and told everyone I’d known about it for months.
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