I Never Feel More Jewish Than When I’m Frazzled in the Kitchen

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I Never Feel More Jewish Than When I’m Frazzled in the Kitchen
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With the end of Yom Kippur comes time for reflection on cooking, chaos, and Jewish identity.

My Jewish identity has always felt a little complicated. While the majority of people I know who share that sentiment grew up as the only Jews in majority-Christian towns where Yiddish wasn’t common parlance—and the closest thing to a good bagel came courtesy of Starbucks—my reasons are somewhat different.

I used to have a more-than-slight chip on my shoulder about the perception of my Judaism as insufficient, but these days, I’m coming to terms with the idea that I don’t have to be descended from four 100-percent Jewish grandparents in order to give Judaism—and spirituality more broadly—a place in my life. And lately, like so many Jews before me, I’ve been doing that with food.

I had a vision of myself preparing my very first break-fast in my own apartment, and naturally, it bore no relationship to the cook I actually know myself to be.

I told myself I’d make a nontraditional menu of the Jewish foods I loved best, culled from various holidays—latkes, matzo ball soup, and, for the first time, my very own challah, under the YouTube tutelage of Semitic angel Claire Saffitz—and I imagined the food being so delicious that everyone at my table converted on the spot.

As you might imagine, my vision quickly fell apart. Ten minutes before my guests were due to arrive, I was sweating profusely from the exertion of trying to put together three main courses simultaneously, my makeup running off my face from the heat of the frying oil for the latkes, and my hands bleeding in three separate places from a failed attempt to shred onion on a box grater.

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