His unwillingness to acknowledge how the issue of race could affect our future was damning.
Going into any relationship as a biracial woman, I know one thing: Any serious relationship will involve discussion of the issues ofThat became even more crucial when I became serious with a white man. There were days I had lived as a Black woman that he would never live through or could imagine living through.
Still, the door of understanding was never hard to crack open when a learning opportunity presented itself. No, it wasn’t my responsibility to educate him on the Black experience. But he was a man who loved every person he met, who believed “everyonebe equal,” and yet couldn’t understand how some people in this world didn’t need a logical reason to be cruel. So I chose to enlighten him with stories, articles, speeches and podcasts.
Halfway through the longest week of my life, I started the conversation with my partner when we were in the car, just to see how he really felt about the civil rights movement happening 30 minutes from our home. Being apathetic and complacent is still a choice. The choice to remain silent is the choice to prevent growth from happening. Anti-racist activistasked the white members of an audience to stand if they “would be happy to be treated, as this society in general, treats our Black citizens,” and wouldn’t you know it: Not one person stood up. Like them, what my partner said was covered in a blanket of blissful denial.
I needed him to be blazing this trail with me. When he didn’t, I no longer felt comfortable with him, not from that moment. From the very first time he told me race didn’t play as big of a role in our society as I thought, I began to shut down.
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