The coronavirus outbreak and ensuing shutdown situation can be uniquely hard on marriages.
Ready, set, reframe: Instead of stressing out about coronavirus and the shutdown, let’s use this time of social isolation to prioritize self-care and mental wellness.Open communication is more important than ever. If something’s bothering you, don’t expect your partner to read your mind. It’s better to be proactive and get ahead of things than to let resentment build up and explode when you’re both already in bad moods.
You can’t control other people’s moods, but you can take more time to be aware of your own. If you feel yourself getting heated or upset, find some of that critical alone time: Take a bath, go for a walk or a drive, or just announce that you’re going to be in the other room for a little while and you’d like to be left alone.
“Nobody’s going to win any parenting awards right now, no one’s going to win any housework awards,” Saxbe said. “We’re all trying to get through this one day at a time and not compare ourselves to other people or have really rigid expectations for how we’re going to perform. I think it’s important to not just apply that generosity to ourselves but to our partners. They’re going to disappoint us and we’re going to have to find ways to live with that.
“‘Please.’ ‘You’re welcome.’ ‘I’m sorry.’ Those words make a huge difference to creating a sense of request rather than demand, creating a sense of someone has a choice whether to help you, rather than you just expecting that things happen,” said Lizzie Post, the president of“Everyone is in this and everyone is handling it a little differently,” Post said.When you’re communicating with your partner about a tricky subject, break out another classic: “I” statements.
Disagreements will happen. The schedule that worked perfectly for you, your spouse and your kids last week might fall to pieces this week. People like routines and consistency, and that’s all been ripped away from us. It’s OK that you’re stressed out about it. The most important thing you can do right now is to practice compassion — toward your spouse and for yourself.
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