For the newest edition of Can We Talk?, we hear from three Refinery29 readers about how being selective when dating has helped or hurt them.
about essentially everything, from plans to fights to emotions and more."You want someone who communicates but you don’t think of the person who wants to communicate about literallyHe's a very deep person, and, while it was a hard adjustment to talk that much at first, it really makes us stronger."
Yeah! People need to measure up and you deserve to be picky. You're an intelligent, attractive, cool person.'" "I need more than just a nice guy," Chantal adds."I need attraction, mental stimulation, and a shared sense of humor… I don't want someone who's a bad kisser, and, of course, I won't tolerate any racism, violence, sexism, or homophobia." Those are her non-negotiables, but she also has a mental list of. For example, someone who lives nearby, is into health and wellness practices, and likes cultural events.
More recently, she's met folks who seemed ideal on paper, but with whom there just wasn't a spark."One guy was nice, he had no kids, a cute dog, a great career, and was stylish," she says."But Ior the way he kissed." It's hard to change who you're attracted to, and attraction is a pretty imperative component of finding a match, she says.
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