Forty-two percent of partners with ADHD reported that the disorder’s symptoms affected their sex lives “a lot.”
affected their sex lives “a lot.” The partners without ADHD were even more emphatic — 51 percent of them said that ADHD put a significant damper on intimacy with their significant other.
While partners with ADHD were less likely to recognize symptom-related disruptions in their sex lives, those who did cited distraction, stress, medication side effects, or mismatched sex drives as the main culprits. Routine arguments about common ADHD trouble spots also played a part in discord. Medications can address wandering focus, but their efficacy relies heavily on dosage and timing, respondents said. “My stimulant medication can lead to feelings of irritability as it’s wearing off,” said Tiffany, age 31. “In those moments, I don’t want to be touched.”itself often comes with a heightened desire for sex, respondents said, medications — particularly antidepressants used to treat comorbid mood disorders — can reduce libido dramatically.
More revealing is the fact that 38 percent of respondents with ADHD said their marriage had teetered close to divorce in the past. An additional 22 percent said divorce had “crossed my mind;” just 31 percent of respondents with ADHD said they had never given a thought to divorce. Unaligned perspectives are acknowledged on both sides. Michael, a 62-year-old man with ADHD, doesn’t think he and his wife have ever been close to divorce — but he acknowledges that his perspective may not match hers.
In many cases, counseling was vital for getting past these periods of turmoil, respondents on both sides said.
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