DearPrudie: I have told my daughter that her mother never wanted to look into her past and that she should respect her wishes. She got mad and told me she had a God-given right. Help!
, Dear Prudence asks readers for their thoughts on a question that has her stumped. She’ll post her final thoughts on the matter on Fridays. Here’s this week’s dilemma and answer:My late wife discovered something about her ancestry early in our marriage, and it shook her up.
My problem is my 20-year-old daughter is extremely curious about her mother’s biological origins. Her coloring is dark, and she is often mistaken for other nationalities. Her friends have encouraged her to dig deeper because they have done ancestry tests themselves and been happily surprised. I think I only fanned the flames. What should I do? My daughter is stubborn but a sensitive soul. I don’t want to see her suffer like my wife did.I can tell how much you loved your wife and want to honor her wishes, and how much you want to protect your daughter from information you think will hurt her. I can absolutely see how all of that is making this situation with your daughter really difficult.
Second, on a practical note, readers noted that your daughter is an adult and that ancestry tests are easily available, so whether or not she chooses to do her research is really not your decision to make. From what I can see, these tests run about $50 to $150, so it’s likely something she can save and pay for herself if she wants to.
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