When we think of boundaries, we often think of ones between us and our external world but have you ever considered putting a boundary on what goes on inside your mind?
Internal boundaries are between ourselves and our internal experiences.Think others would be horrified by the way you speak to yourself, parents, colleagues, and even your smartphone. But all of these focus on external boundaries. What if the boundary you need to set is an internal one? One with your thoughts , feelings, and sensations.
Being less on autopilot and more intentional about how you’re interacting with your internal experience. One of the reasons external boundaries are important is, they prevent people from taking advantage of you. Often, my clients speak as if they’re being taken advantage of by their thoughts and feelings. Initially, they feel at the mercy of their moods, but when they learn how to be present, they don’t feel as controlled by “what ifs.
Noting how you’re treating yourself. Being kind to yourself is a practice, perhaps one not as familiar as being critical..” I’ve started using the word “noticing” instead. The more we can notice what’s happening inside our head , the better shot we have at pulling ourselves out of the rabbit hole faster .to how you’re feeling. It doesn’t have to take more than a couple of minutes. When the reminder goes off, settle into your body and tune in to what you’re thinking, feeling, and sensing.
Recognize engagement. If you’re spending more than a few seconds on a specific thought , or if you keep returning to it or analyzing it, take notice. Once you notice what you’re doing, stop the behavior! Move your attention to something outside your head. Your brain will try to take your attention back to the thought . That’s normal. Gently redirect it back to the other thing, for as long as it takes. This is how the brain learns. It takes a lot of repetition!to you, not something that feeds your anxiety. Get active, play with your dog, call a friend, or dig in your garden.
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