The trolls attacking Kamala Harris online makes this South Asian lawyer worry about how others see her.
With Vice President Kamala Harris running for the presidency, all the trolls seem to be out attacking her in really vile ways because of her racial identity and gender. I am a South Asian woman and lawyer about her age, and I find myself wondering if everyone thinks of me the way they talk about Harris - DEI hire, just got where she was for diversity, etc.
When people use the term “DEI hire,” they mean it in a tokenizing, exclusionary way. But here’s the truth: When other people think this about you, it says more about the systems that you exist and work in than it does about your abilities. It says more about those people, who think “being diverse” is a bad thing, than it does about the fact that your diverse experiences and background being an asset, a strength, a superpower.
You are internalizing these comments about Harris and it’s chipping away at your self esteem. That’s what microaggressions do, but I encourage you to try to focus on where - and with whom - you feel a sense of safety and support so you don’t lose yourself to this commentary.Regardless of what others may think about you, remember that you are qualified, otherwise you probably wouldn’t have gotten to where you are.
If you feel like there’s a real friendship there, you may consider saying something next time like, “Hey, I had fun at your party last weekend. I’ve noticed that I am always invited at the last minute and it makes me feel like an afterthought. I value your friendship and I’d love to talk about it.” You can’t change how other people act, but you can communicate how it makes you feel.
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