In this week’s ‘Esther Calling,’ Esther Perel gets a call from a podcast listener in need of relationship advice about feeling bored by her stable husband and being taught by her mom to always crave new things.
Where Should We Begin?is adapted from the podcast — which is now part of the Vox Media Podcast Network — and you can listen and follow for free on
Esther: And she wants you to understand how bad she feels that she made you feel bad, but it’s all about her. Did she leave the country with you? Or you left alone?No, when I moved to the U. S., I did it by myself. And I’ve had the best time of my life. I was always my mother’s daughter. She has the same career as I do. So I was always in an environment where she was the most experienced one, always under her wing a little bit. Except for when I came here, and I came by myself.
Esther: Right. That’s been addressed with him? Because here’s the thing that jumps out. He may not be interested in the world outside, openly. And he may not be someone who makes friends and connects with people. He may have come as the person who is stable and focused, but yet he picked you after he knew you for quite a few years. So it’s not like he picked a mysterious you.
Esther: Are you talking about other men? What are the things that you find yourself drawn to while he’s by your side? And what are the things that you start to experience that you’re being secretive about?I think professionally — that’s the the biggest one — I’ve started to do things that are not what I always did, and I really have found a lot of passion in doing other things. I guess I want to have knowledge of different things. I feel alone in a lot of ways.
When you saw yourself suddenly willing to throw your entire life up in the air because of the nice attention that this man bestowed upon you, that’s when you suddenly thought,So it had an awakening for you, for the two of you. We should maybe send a thank-you note to the guy. He was effective but in many ways that he didn’t anticipate.Emotionally, sometimes I feel like everything is bad with my life, with me. The next day I’m just ecstatic. I’m so happy.
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