There is no way I’m leaving my baby with these people.
My in-laws, who live locally, are heavy drinkers. They start in the morning and continue all day. They bring flasks to every visit with us. They habitually drink while driving: They show up with roadies and make fresh ones before they leave. They rarely get sloppy during these visits, but I know they are drunk. They are also extremely eager to babysit for our now 5-month-old, and the question of whether they can ever be alone with the baby has become a big point of contention in my marriage.
After much discussion, my husband and I agreed that we will keep any babysitting short and during the day. He refuses to have a franker discussion with them about our concerns, because he believes that they will abide by the rule he set down. I do not. I believe that they are alcoholics and have no control over their drinking, that they could not abide by this rule even if they wanted to.
Now we want to go on a trip, just the two of us, after the baby turns one. In an ideal world, the two sets of local grandparents would split the time caring for our child in our absence. But there’s no way I’m ever leaving my kid with my in-laws overnight.
But it was a big deal for my husband to raise the subject about staying sober while babysitting. I have not yet told him my feelings about sleepovers and about driving , but I previewed my position about leaving our son solely in my parents’ care when we travel, and he seemed potentially receptive.
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