Advice from Annie Lane.
I’m dealing with a family feud that’s really been weighing on me. My sister, “Sarah,” and I have always been close, but a recent disagreement over our late father’s estate has driven a wedge between us. Our dad passed away unexpectedly in a car crash, leaving behind a sizable inheritance that includes our childhood home.
Sarah believes the house should be sold and the proceeds split evenly between us. But I have strong sentimental attachments to the house! It has so many memories with our dad. This disagreement has escalated into many arguments, some of which have gotten pretty nasty. Our mother, who is caught in the middle, is upset by the rift between her two daughters. She’s urging us to find a compromise but it doesn’t look like either of us is ready to budge.
How can we resolve this? I want to honor our father’s memory while also respecting my sister’s wishes.It’s understandable that both of you have strong emotions tied to your childhood home, and it’s also important to recognize that grief can amplify the tension in these situations. The guidance of a neutral mediator or estate planner could help facilitate a constructive conversation.
Tell your mother that you love how much care and attention she is giving your daughter, and explain the values you are trying to instill. Suggest some other ways your mother can spoil her granddaughter -- taking her to the beach, taking her out for ice cream or playing a game with her.Annie Lane offers common-sense solutions to everyday problems. She's firm, funny and sympathetic, echoing the style of her biggest inspiration, Ann Landers.
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