In today's Dear Annie column, a reader is conflicted over revealing to a longtime friend that she's known her true paternity for decades.
While she usually believes honesty is the best policy, Annie Lane suggests to today's reader that she keep a secret to herself.
I’ve been best friends for over 50 years now with a girl I was neighbors with growing up. When I was about 12, I remember coming home from her house upset over the way her dad had treated her. He was always very cold and abrupt, and he treated her as less than he did her older sister. I confided in my parents about this, and they sort of brushed it off. My parents, thinking I had left the room and was out of earshot, started discussing this and I overheard my dad say that it was probably because this man wasn’t my friend’s real dad. To their shock, I immediately came back into the room and asked what that meant. They tried to backpedal, but I knew what I heard and wanted an explanation. They sat me down and told me that he was not her biological father.
Now recently, she has informed me of her interest in her family tree and about wanting to have her ancestry done through one of those DNA places. I am now beside myself with guilt! I’m so afraid she’s going to discover the truth.
Honesty is usually the best policy -- but in this case, it will only hurt her more and potentially demolish your friendship forever. Ultimately, the truth about your friend’s father was not yours to share with her. For whatever reason, she is now curious about her family’s roots and sounds like she’s ready to accept whatever information lies in store.
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