I have tried asking her about it, but she brushes it off.
I’m a single man who has a close female friend who is also single. We live about a half-hour apart, so for the last 25 years, much of our relationship happened on the phone. We talked almost daily.
Two years ago, I noticed she had stopped calling me unless it was to make plans to get together. Then I noticed that when I called her, she’d let it go to voicemail and not return my call for days. About a year ago, she stopped returning my voice messages altogether. I tried reducing my calls drastically, but no dice. I also tried switching to texts, but she doesn’t respond to those, either.
You might conclude that she’s unfriending me, but that’s not the case. We still get together often for dinner or a movie, usually at her suggestion via email, and she still acts like we are close friends and nothing is wrong. But not returning, or even acknowledging, my calls or texts sure feels wrong to me. I have tried asking her about it, but she brushes it off by saying she “didn’t hear the phone.” Or she’s “bad at checking voicemail and texts.
Her latest excuse is, she’s “just not good on the telephone.” Abby, I know phone etiquette has changed and young people rarely use the phone these days. But we are in our 60s, and for 25 years our relationship was largely on the phone. It’s one thing to want to cut back on that, or even to stop calling me. But ignoring my calls or texts seems hurtful. Is this normal, and should I still consider such a person one of my closest friends?A sudden change in pattern is not normal.
I recently mentioned this to a friend who told me he experiences the same thing when he dines alone. He, too, considers it insulting. Please share this with readers who work in the hospitality industry.I’m printing your letter, but I think you may be reacting to a question that may be more about procedure than a social commentary. Your host or server may ask that question because they want to know whether the extra place settings should be removed from the table.
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Dear Abby: I’m struggling with mom’s guilt trips after grandma’s deathMy grandma raised me because Mom was an alcoholic and ran the streets with her boyfriend. My grandma died three months ago.
Read more »
Dear Abby: My husband divorced me after I helped his niece adopt out her babyDear Abby advises a woman who asks if she’s in the wrong for helping her niece-in-law give her child up for adoption.
Read more »
Dear Abby: My husband divorced me after his niece told what I’d doneShe asked me to keep her adoption plan secret — then she let her family know I helped.
Read more »
Dear Abby: Family rejects woman who helped pregnant niece with adoptionTo this day, the niece is happy with her decision and participates in the open adoption. Was I wrong to help her?
Read more »
Dear Abby: My close friend of 25 years started ghosting me out of nowhereDear Abby advises a man on what he can do since his female friend of 25 years started ghosting his calls and text.
Read more »
Dear Abby: ‘I’m just not good on the phone’ is no excuse for ignoring calls... when I called her, she’d let it go to voicemail and not return my call for days. About a year ago, she stopped returning my voice messages altogether.
Read more »